- THE CURSE OF SIN IN MARRIAGE
Gen 3:16 – God said to Eve – “…Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.”
Before the Fall, man and woman were united in love and honor. But after sin entered, the curse followed, and it first affected marriage. The wife now has a longing for her husband, by which she enslaves herself to please him. Often, this desire becomes controlling. The man, on the other hand, developed a tendency to dominate his wife– subjugating and using her rather than loving her.
How the wife puts up with a hard man is a mystery!!
Sometimes this desire can become controlling:
Some women raise their voices, shout, and scream. Others cry and get emotional to exert control, or use marital intimacy as a weapon by depriving their husbands of intimacy to control them. While some women deny this, many marriage counselors confirm that it happens.
What we see in Gen 3:16 was overturned by what happened in John 3:16.
>Through a woman came sin, and through a woman named Mary was born our Savior.
>Jesus died naked on a tree to reverse what happened through another tree in the garden.
> After his resurrection, Jesus first appeared to a woman named Mary and gave her the assignment to point people to the right tree – Jesus Christ.
- PRIMARY NEED
Eph 5:25 – Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. The husband who wanted to dominate and subjugate her is now instructed and empowered to love his wife.
Paul taught husbands to love their wives; this proves that love is a choice and is more than a feeling.
The world says, “Fall in love,” but God says, “Walk in love.”
“Above all, Paul tells husbands to love their wives because the primary need of a woman is love.”
->The man will say, “I’m giving you all these things, and you’re still unhappy.”
She will answer, “It is not this mink coat or this house that I really want. I want you to tell me that I am everything you’ve been dreaming of, and that you love me.”
Love is the fuel they need to be their best.
- 5 WAYS TO LOVE YOUR WIFE
1) Show her affection: Eph 5:25
>>Through a steady flow of cards, flowers, hugs & kisses.
>>Tell her “I love you” every day
>> When going out shopping, carry her bags and hold her hand
>> When you come back home, find her first!!
>>Be gentle and patient in the marriage bed
- Marriage grows in the environment of affection.
2) Be her communication partner – Eph 5:26
Speak to her, listen to her, and share details of your day.
Communication is the blood of a healthy marriage
3) Give affirmation of her identity– Eph 5:26 – 27
Every girl experiences feelings of insecurity. A husband should speak words of truth and love, reminding her that she is beautiful, strong, and capable.
>When the serpent brought insecurity, it was Adam’s job to give Eve affirmation of her identity.
>When Sarah felt insecure about childbirth, Abraham should’ve spoken out in faith and affirmation.
4) Provide for her financial needs: Eph 5:29
The husband is the primary breadwinner of the home
5) Praise her in your home – Pro 31:28-29 – Her children call her blessed; her husband praises her.
Character is more caught than taught
III. LEARN TO RECEIVE YOUR HUSBAND’S LOVE
The Father ran to the prodigal Son and hugged him and kissed him. Why? His love heals wounds of sin.
Let the love of God heal you of your wounds
Conclusion
A woman’s primary need is love. Husbands need to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Next week, we will see how the man needs respect. And as both surrender to these truths, the marriage will be blessed!