A.CLEAVING TO BECOME ONE FLESH
Gen 2:24 – Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
CLEAVE is DABAQ (Hebrew) which means – to cling to and to catch by pursuit.
You have to pursue oneness in marriage. You have to do life together. If you don’t pursue oneness in the marriage, you are drifting apart from each other.
B.MERGE THESE 3 THINGS IN MARRIAGE
You have to merge a few things: There is no marriage without merging.
1 – MERGE YOUR ADDRESS
Live together in one house and do life together: As much as possible, cook food at home, eat together, merge your work-time, spend time together, attend occasions together, and as much as possible go to bed together.
Some couples don’t even cook at home; they work different shifts and don’t spend time together. They frequently go to their momma’s or aunt’s house and wonder why they’re drifting apart.
>>After every fight, don’t leave your spouse and go to your parents’ house, stay together and work it through. Remember the magic words!: Whatever happens, you and I are One. We will deal with this together.
>> Career choices and financial needs are significant factors. When one of you is required to move to a distant location for work for a long time, take your spouse and children with you. If that is not feasible then trust God to open new doors of growth. But always decide to stay with your spouse and children
>>Night shift / Day shift – Believe God for a regular day shift work – God wants you to spend time with your family and go to sleep during the night. Occasionally we all can do all-nighters, whether for night prayers or work, but elongated night shifts affect your body, your mental health, and your family life. There are enough people out in the world who can work at night; you prioritize your health and marriage first.
2 – MERGE YOUR BODIES
1 Cor 7:3-5 instructs you to give your spouse your due affection: It is your due – your legitimate duty to your spouse.
God created Sex. It is a wonderful gift to be enjoyed in the context of marriage. Sex acts as superglue in marriage. In the marriage bed the “feel-good hormones” endorphins and the “love-hormone” Oxytocin are released. These two cause both the husband and the wife to feel more drawn to each other
3 – MERGE YOUR FINANCES
Money is not everything, but money touches everything; that’s why, without merging your finances, you cannot have peace in marriage. The two of you can have two different incomes and two individual accounts, but the budgeting has got to be one. Transparency and communication are a must.
C.NO MERGING WITHOUT MARRYING
Before marriage you are not One. Quit talking like it and behaving like it. Quit addressing each other as your husband or your wife. Quit living together. Quit having sex with each other. Quit budgeting together. “No merging before marriage.”
John 4:18 – “for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.” Living together doesn’t constitute marriage.
According to Genesis 2:24 –Living together & sexual relations are for marriage only.
->Research by Dr A Patrick Schneider
CONCLUSION
You have to merge in order to do marriage: merge your addresses, your bodies and your finances. But if you are unmarried, wait for marriage before you merge.
As a couple, when you pursue oneness, God will work within both of you. He will help you attain oneness that not only blesses your marriage but transforms you into a blessing to many